Misspellings and Hilarity Ensue

This morning I found a blog dedicated to compiling one-star reviews of classic movies, books, and music from Amazon.com.

Some gems:

• There are many myths that persist in modern life. One myth is that war is “meaningless”, “useless” or “insane.” Another myth is that Catch-22 is a good book.
• The Princess Bride is twenty years old, and after twenty years it’s difficult to see why anyone likes this movie. It is not realistic and most of the things that happen in the story are lies. The Princess Bride is about two guys who are in a book and they’re fighting over a princess named Buttercup. But the problem is that one of them is a pirate and the other one is a giant! I know it’s supposed to be fictional…but come on! Even my suspension of disbelief is not that good, and I work with children!
• The entire story [of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] can be summed up in one sentence: The Earth is destroyed, and Arthur is saved by Ford Prefect, who is an alien researching Earth. Woo, what an exciting plot. Honestly, I’d rather be on the Earth when it was destroyed than go on this boring adventure.
• Pink Floyd [The Dark Side of the Moon]! Holy Christ, they’re the worst band EVER! I mean EVER! OH MY GOD! GROTESQUE! THEY’RE HORRID! WOW! MAKE THEM DIE ALREADY! GO CREED! GO CREED! GO CREED!
• THIS [Blazing Saddles] is Mel Brook’s WORST movie ever. I think it’s sad how so many great actors would’ve been in it, but THAT was then. Usually EVERYTIME I read a review on Amazon, at least ONE [or two] people give any item “1 star”, but I’m disgusted to find so many [rednecks?] giving this piece of trash “5 stars”.
• I do not like the Wizard of Oz. For one thing, I don’t like to watch things with witches in them, especially if one of them is portrayed as a “good witch” - that’s an oxymoron I can’t reconcile with.
• I mean when I watch Casablanca and I here the gun shot at the end, I want to HERE GUN SHOT AT THE END!!! Also Ingrid Bergman is no Maryland Monroe.

And easily my favorite, about Schindler's List:

• Hey don’t get me wrong I like Holocaust movies as much as the next guy , but this one was a real let down. First of all there are no Americans(at least not American characters)hey spielzy what gives, wheres are hero, schindler is no indiana jones. Perhaps he should of handed the script over to michael cricton.I think spielberg is our greatest “dreamweaver”, to quote someone else, but this film has no pizazz, or more importantly no color. plus it doesn’t have any great action scenes or excitement like saving private ryan. I guess the holocaust is a good topic to make a movie about, but brother this movie aint no “hook”. hopefully people will forget about this turkey and pay more attention to stephen’s better work, ‘amistad’ ‘field of dreams’ ‘ the lost world’.